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What makes a good birth partner?

Updated: May 22, 2023

We've attended hundreds of births, and we've seen the good, the bad and the ugly...

If media has got anything right about birth, it's that generally the birth partner (especially the male variety) hasn't got a clue what to do.

It's a rare occasion that we have a partner who has done even a quarter the amount of research and learning that a pregnant client has done.

We know birth, you know your partner. Today we are sharing our quickest tips for birth partner support... for more check out our Birth Partner Prep course!

Here's a few fast tips on how to be a better birth partner

be involved - its hard to imagine what its like to be your partner. Their body is growing, changing, and it is VISIBLY obvious how hard they are working. It can feel very overwhelming to try to jump in and get really involved.

BUT it is important, so here's a few tips;

1: If you can't go to appointments, make a point to ask about them.

2: If you don't understand something, ask about it.

3: If you don't want to read a book, audio books or podcasts are great.

you know your partner, better than anyone else. This is your superpower. If you learn anything from today, let it be this.

Tap into how they like to be cared for when sick, or what their love languages are. That is a great place to start for knowing how to support someone through birth.

Verbal support: Take some time in the third trimester to discuess with your partner what birth mantras or affirmations they would like to hear. Here are some examples:

You ARE doing this

Breath to our baby, you're so strong

Release your shoulders, your jaw, and take that rest

Your body was meant to do this

I am right here for you, breath with me

You've got this, you've come so far already

Physical Support:


Be prepared to have about a 50% failure rate. Don't take anything personally, just shake it off and try something else. Get comfortable with your partner saying they like, or don't like some things.

You can try: Hip squeezes, Sacral pressure, Massage, hair stroking, hand holding, cool cloths, warn cloths, or encougage them to use water.

Looking for more direction: Sign up for our "Prepare your Partner for Birth" course

If your intuition is telling you that being her sole emotional support during a birth is too much for you, or you're worried you may let them down; hire out! Doula's are an amazing option to support you both. Its like bringing google, Coles notes, and a Birth trainer to your birth! It is priceless, and husbands/partners are always our biggest celebrators.

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