I can't predict the babies schedule let alone my own!
Leaving the house gives me anxiety.
I have trouble making friends.
I don't want people to judge me
I HEAR you.
However, you may benefit from pushing yourself outside of your box of safety and unpredictable predictability of being in your home with your baby.
Motherhood is fucking hard. In the matter of minutes you can feel like you're drowning and then be overwhelmed with love and oozing happiness. You are losing sleep on a regular basis, you likely don't feel super lovey dovey about your partner, and who you were BEFORE you had a baby is someone you feel like is so far away it hurts.
Thats ok, you aren't the same person you were before. You are transforming.
Making mom friends is one of the most rewarding parts of the transformation.
1: You aren't alone. There is another mom somewhere that feels almost so similar to you at this moment that its eerie. The closer your babies are in age, the better that 'I get you' bond is. Most new mom groups try to keep the babies born in the same 6 months for this reason. Everyone going through the 4 month sleep regression at the same time is incredibly therapeutic.
2: There is strength in numbers. You will boost your happiness by having a group of support people who you feel you can lean on if you're feeling less than awesome. I know meeting new people is hard, but the cool thing about having a baby is you immediately have a whole bunch of things in common.
Births, Post partum, and raising a child can give you endless amounts of things to talk about for life! Be the one to say hello, and it all gets easier from there.
3: You will be so grateful for them. You may not know it yet but these women, your future village, you will need them. They become your family. There will be the ones your laugh with, the ones you cry with, the ones you can say absolutely anything to, the ones who your kids are friends, the ones where your husbands even become friends. Your social circle will likely morph a lot after kids so embrace the change. Its not always bad.
4: You can learn from each other. As each of us go through every milestone with our baby we learn so much, and we can share that with each other. Even if its just a shoulder to cry on as we remind each other this too shall pass, that is more than enough of a reason to add some new moms to your network.
5: They likely didn't know the 'before' you: there can sometimes be pressure in an already existing group of friends to keep up some appearances and previous social life choices because thats what you did before. But now after having a baby it can be easier to spend time with friends who have babies also, and understand the value of bed times, and quiet house, so that you can still socialize but in a super baby supportive manner.
6. Invest today for how your future will be tomorrow. As a mom of a 6 and 8 year old now I see the huge benefits in being friends with your kids friends parents. They play, you hang out. Its glorious. You parent each others kids and its one big happy family.
So say "yes".
Get uncomfortable and meet new people.
Here is the cool thing: everyone feels awkward meeting new people, even the ones who seem super confident.
Judgement is less rampant than the stories you are telling yourself. So often its the things we are assuming others are thinking about us that stop you from getting out there. Stop making assumptions and give people the benefit of the doubt. The thing is we're all just trying to do our best. That looks different for every single person. Open your mind, and your heart to new village members and I promise it pays off.