We hoped we wouldn't be here, but here we are.
One of the hardest times of year for some. So much beauty, so much cheer, but so much expectation.
2020 is going to look different. I myself am going through periods of frustration, anger, and sadness, interspersed with gratefulness, and gratitude.
Here is a letter to myself for Christmas 2020. I hope parts of it speak to anyone who needs it.
Dear Lara.
Merry Christmas! It seems ironic the word Merry at times given the current climate. Sometimes it feels like Merry isn't allowed. It feels like we're walking around in some constant funeral, not allowed to be celebrating or joyful!
The days can seem heavier to get through right now, and don't discount the fact that we are in a pandemic. The world as a whole is at a low vibration, the news and social media can evoke feelings of hopelessness and despair.
Be careful with your heart. Don't let the wormhole of scrolling seep into your life and effect your mood. Be mindful with your consumption and don't fool yourself that it helps you numb out. Curate your feed to be joyful, real, and give you a sense of connection. If you feel your heart rate go up, mute, unfollow, and move on.
Take note from. your kids. They are having an amazing Christmas season so far. Watching Christmas movies and cuddling, drinking hot chocolate, creating new intimate memories instead of being rushed from party to party seeing relatives they only see once a year. The expectations of cute outfits, and perfect attitudes, the groceries and food prep for these parties. Look at how much has been taken off your plate. Put up your feet. Put down your phone and be present. Look around you. Take a deep breath and blow it all away. You are ok, this is going to pass and life will be normal again someday.
The kids pointed out early on in COVID that we were never rushing anymore. Try to keep focusing on the slow down Hygge atmosphere of Christmas, instead of the stuff they write movies about like 'Bad Moms'!
Get out of bed in the morning and put on an outfit you feel good in. Drink your water, and get movement. DROP the expectations of getting to the gym. Put on a dance video, or a yoga video, or just go for a wintery walk. Movement and Nature are what matters. Not how much you're lifting. There will be a time for barbells again. A time for hot yoga classes sardined in a room. This is not the time for that, and you can do hard things.
Build a life you don't need a vacation from. You found this groove in June and you can find it again. Puzzles, drinks, good food, and laughter. Phone calls with friends and family.
Write a menu of what you CAN do, instead of focusing on what you can't.
Smile, at yourself, at your husband, at your kids. Smile from behind that mask when you're in the store staring at others eyes all wondering so many different things.
And don't forget to take pictures! Of all the moments. Ask Ryan to take more. Despite not seeing extended family, we can still hold these moments and memories close.
Nourish and care for your soul. Let yourself grieve what isn't. You can be sad, but positive at the same time! I promise you, if you let the feelings come, if you don't bury them deep beneath scrolling and sugar. If you move through them, speak them out loud, and hold yourself, you WILL be ok. You will come out on the other side and put one foot in front of the other.
This Christmas will be different, but SPECIAL. 10 years from now your kids will remember the Christmas we slowed down. The Christmas we stayed home. The time Mommy and Daddy watched two movies in a row with us, and let us eat in front of the tv.
The time we cuddled more, stopped rushing, and enjoyed our gifts instead of sitting down Jan 2nd EXHAUSTED.
This can be beautiful, you have the power inside of you.
Make it your own. You can do this. We can do hard things.
MERRY Christmas.
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